Bake out session(s)

18Jul09

Yesterday I made marshmallow cupcakes.
Today I made chocolate muffins & orange-strawberry muffins.
Tomorrow I shall make peanut butter & jam muffins.

Baking brings me sanity, no doubt about that at all.

Make me happy!

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one morning was sufficient

16Jul09

One good morning of rest, prayer and thought was enough to remind me of God’s never changing attributes, grounding me to view the issues at hand through His perspective. A good amount of time spent reflecting on His word, helped me realize that He is indeed good. but more than that, He showed me how insufficient and weak I was, causing me to turn back and rely on His strength so that He can show me grace. I am reminded; that to continue I must rely on Him because He is far stronger than I am.

It does not mean that the complications and issues made known are instantly resolved or solved with just one morning of solitude. They linger around for longer that I can expect, but it is such a great privilege to just sit at His feet meditating upon His word and praying- all on the comforts of my lovely bed. & being reminded tonight that it is such a privilege to be able to be involved in the lives of others was timely.

Thank God for all His gracious provision: be it in the form of utmost care, concern and timely advice from loving sisters-in-christ, speaking to me through His word & being refreshed!, being able to get good rest for half a day and for listening to my prayers. He is ever faithful.

and it does not end here. Even as I lay my prayers, concerns and requests at His feet, I am excited to watch Him work because He works in the most marvellous ways- & I am just waiting to see Him move. :]

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people overload

15Jul09

I want and need seclusion;
and I’m choosing to disappear from the face of the earth. I dont want to talk to anyone about anything for a while, cos I just need to take a break from talking, discussing, thinking, resolving and what have you. I’ve had enough and my fair share of heart-to-heart talks, resolution, confessing, intense discussion, learning and growing. They were good, dont get me wrong, but I’m undergoing system overload. and I just need to stop, reside in seclusion for a while, hopefully not a long while.  I need to be alone, I need to talk to God. I need to sort things out without having complication after complication being brought to my attention. ok stop, enough.

I just dont want to talk to anyone, just let me be.
I’d recover after a while.
when I’m ready, I’ll come out of my hermit shell.

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conviction

14Jul09

I believe & preach the living gospel;
and so I must live out the living gospel- at all costs.

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So what really is the gospel?

12Jul09

Today I went through the material enough times to memorize what I am going to say next, and this coming week, I am going to repeat myself even a few more times- so what really is the gospel? when I thought harder, I realized, the gospel has wider implications. It dictates the way I live. I cannot only think here *points to mind* and not change here *points to heart*. It’s connected. and when Jesus died and rose again- He redeemed more than eternal life for me. He redeemed the chance to have a right relationship with God, and He redeemed the opportunity to have a right relationship with others. So, the gospel is more than the good news, it really is– a way to live. when encountered with the question: do you know the gospel? the knowing speaks louder in the actions than in the repetition of all the right facts.

help me to know the gospel.

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If I only had one chance;

10Jul09

Why would I spend incessant time & energy on matters that do not count towards eternity?
(don’t misunderstand me, lets not get extreme.)
Let’s not go crazy and say:
so then, everyone must be nuns/monks, or everyone must be a missionary, or everyone must donate all their money to church and live a pauper’s life. I am not an extremist. But a particular conversation today sparked off this thought– If I only have one shot at life, then why wouldn’t I make it right with my Creator and live life to the max within His boundaries, trusting and obeying Him? & why would I spend unnecessary time fretting over issues that do not contribute to my life after death. It’s not only about the way I live, it’s also about the thoughts and decision-making process that drives the way I live. It’s about everything actually (the whole being): heart&emotions, will and mind all focused on the goal of eternity. so let’s get it right this time and set the record straight:

If I have one life to live,
I would not want to spend incessant time and energy on matters that do not count towards eternity.

I wish I could tell you,
I could, but you wouldn’t want to hear.
and for you, I grieve, because, I love you.
and I wouldn’t want your view of eternity,
to be merely at the sidelines.
I pray, it would be your focus too.

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I’ll be faithful.

08Jul09

The chilli crab, durian and mangosteen cleared my head as I strolled home- head tumping with immense number of thoughts; how this how that how this and that. but I pray I’ll keep faithful. all I want to do, is to keep faithful though none may go with me, I pray I’d still do what is right with gentleness and kindness. I am puzzled, confused, dumbfounded, on the verge of throwing my hands up in the air, walking away and giving up (escape plan #1) but I cannot, if I have to work through the tears, I’d have to. and my brain tells me: “what you think so easy arh?!” my heart tells me: “not so easy, so need to pray and trust”… perhaps, tomorrow would be a better day. but it definitely can’t get better than chilli crab, durian and mangosteen plus the refreshing and amazing company. (durian men should not ever mess with KC girls, we’d give them a piece of our mind). it’s quite amazing that this band of KC girls always make me smile, I can laugh loud loud, pull crazy face stunts, talk in amazingly loud volume, knowing that they’d be braving the weird public stares with me. :] It’s worth it I’d say- even if it was after a tiring, thought-full, confusing day at work. :] what would my night be without you.

facebook = photos. : D

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I am suppose to love you. (and I will).

07Jul09

How to best love you, a person I find so queer yet, I know I deeply hold you in my heart. how?
and so they say: “love is not easy”.
love takes more than fuzzy wuzzy, its takes time to think, time to rationalize, time to convince the inner self that I am not worthy to be loved, but Christ came anyway, to teach me how to love others. ehhh, not easy- but I am trying, I am trying very hard. I get no positive response, so now I am trying to pray very hard. I hope, things work out. cos’ I know saying i love you ain’t enough. (but I do, really).

where do I even begin?

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thankyou for your encouragement :]

05Jul09

Isaiah 40

¹² Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,
or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?
Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,
or weighed the mountains on the scales
and the hills in a balance?

¹³ Who has understood the mind ^[d] of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?

¹⁴ Whom did the LORD consult to enlighten him,
and who taught him the right way?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the path of understanding?

¹⁵ Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are regarded as dust on the scales;
he weighs the islands as though they were fine dust.

¹⁶ Lebanon is not sufficient for altar fires,
nor its animals enough for burnt offerings.

¹⁷ Before him all the nations are as nothing;
they are regarded by him as worthless
and less than nothing.

¹⁸ To whom, then, will you compare God?
What image will you compare him to?

¹⁹ As for an idol, a craftsman casts it,
and a goldsmith overlays it with gold
and fashions silver chains for it.

²⁰ A man too poor to present such an offering
selects wood that will not rot.
He looks for a skilled craftsman
to set up an idol that will not topple.

²¹ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told you from the beginning?
Have you not understood since the earth was founded?

²² He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like a canopy,
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

²³ He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing.

²⁴ No sooner are they planted,
no sooner are they sown,
no sooner do they take root in the ground,
than he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind sweeps them away like chaff.

²⁵ “To whom will you compare me?
Or who is my equal?” says the Holy One.

²⁶ Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?
He who brings out the starry host one by one,
and calls them each by name.
Because of his great power and mighty strength,
not one of them is missing.

trustworthy.

Philippians 3

⁷But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ ⁹and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.

I’m not looking back.

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more valuable than Gold.

29Jun09

Pondering upon God’s word pierces the heart,
but it’s far more valuable than Gold,
and its far more precious than Silver.

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